...what aggrotech might sound like if it was actually good? Like, if it wasn't the single worst subgenre of music ever invented, and the people whose idea it was to try and combine goth-industrial, EBM and hard dance hadn't gone about it in the most spectacularly ham-fisted fashion?
I hate "harsh" EBM with a passion matched only by how much I love "old school style EBM". Or as it's more commonly known: EBM. There is no type of music I despise with this much intensity or authority - I'm not an outsider shitting on something I don't understand, I understand perfectly what these plastic-haired chumps are trying to do and I reject it on first principles.
"harsh" EBM isn't just some distant and unconnected genre that
I can ignore or dismiss as simply "not my cup of tea" it is a
steaming hot vat of fermented piss that has been sloshing
around dangerously close to my cup of tea for several decades.
Electronic music would be no poorer for the fusion of hard
dance, EBM and those fucking stupid "eViL" vocals never coming
together. It's not just that old school style EBM (and indeed
techno-EBM and Italo Body Music) is far better - it is, but
actual hard dance is also infinitely better than the diluted
version incorporated into "harsh" EBM.
Actual hard dance
is harder, faster, more euphoric and often scarier than
"harsh" EBM and can do what your
SuicideCombiPsyclonTaktikalGrendelModules would sacrifice a
kidney to create: a viscerally thrilling rush of hard, fast,
pumping beats that grab you by the throat and hurl you
spinning and spiralling into the neon-flooded bloodstream of
the vortex opening up beneath you on the dancefloor as all
your synapses fire in one go and you can't tell if you're
hurtling upwards into hell or downards into heaven but there
is a searing white light at both ends of the tunnel and all
around you as the synth stabs reach a monstruous crescendo and
that thick, fat, compressed TR909 keeps kicking, kicking,
KICKING at your eardrums matching the arrhythmic thud of your
heart as every fragment of existence seems to simultaneously
explo...
...sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, aggrotech is wank, get some of
this in you instead: